Illinois mortuary assistant Linda Anders used testicles from corpses to help win the annual spaghetti cookout.
In late July 2022, readers sent in a few letters asking us if a horrific-sounding article was true. It was posted on July 27, 2022, on KVTA4.com with the title “Mortuary Assistant Uses Testicles from Cadavers to Help Win the Annual Cooking Spaghetti.” The supposed Illinois mortuary assistant has been named as 41-year-old Linda Anders.
Although the somewhat official-looking local news feels like KVTA4.com may appear to have it, the truth is that the site carries a sarcastic disclaimer.
Part of the spaghetti cooking story from KVTA4.com reads as follows:
CARTERVILLE, IL – Linda Anders, 41, has been a participant in Carterville’s annual spaghetti cooking for the past 12 years. In those 10 years, the highest percentage she’d had was at number two and Linda knew that second was only the first loser. For 2022 and Lucky Contest #13, Linda used a secret ingredient that she was sure would give her that extra edge and earn herself the blue ribbon she wanted.
Anders worked as a mortuary assistant in Williamson County. During the 11 months leading up to the cooking process, Linda collected testes from a deceased adult male. She would cut them, gather them, and sew them without attracting attention. And who would have noticed the missing balls of a dead man anyway?
In the satirical story, the morgue assistant was eventually arrested after a judge who tasted spaghetti realized he was chewing an “artificial testicle.”
KVTA4.com’s “About Us” page displays the following disclaimer describing its product as satire:
KVTA4 is a fabricated satirical newspaper and comedy website. KVTA4 uses invented names in all of its stories, with the exception of cases where public figures are mocked. Any other use of real names is accidental and serendipitous.
On August 1, the article from KVTA4.com was reported by “The Wayne D Show” on Buckeye Country 94.3 on iHeart.com. iHeart.com’s headline read: “What this morgue assistant puts in her spaghetti will make you vomit.” The article did not mention that the story was satirical.
It is not clear where the shot of the woman that was used in the original story on KVTA4.com came from. However, these kinds of satirical articles about mortuaries usually reuse realistic mug shots for their fairy tales. The cup shot is likely real, but the reason for arresting the woman pictured has nothing to do with the morgue assistant, or testicles from corpses, or spaghetti.