It is certainly fair that you accuse me of being late when it comes to Covid-19. Although the pandemic has been the number one concern that has paralyzed me for the past two and a half years, it has taken me that long to contract it myself. And the prisonersYou pulled me out so hard. I say to him: Praise be to God PowerWash Emulator.
You know how they say that “even the weakest line” on a Covid test is evidence of infection? My test line looked like it had been drawn there with a very thick Sharpie, in one of those inks scientists always discover it absorbs more waves of light than any color before them. Last weekend, I went from “I think I’ve caught some cold,” to “Give me a prize for my dead body off this couch I’ll never get up again” in about an hour.
There’s a part of me that’s always trying to romanticize the idea of sick day. “I can just lie down and play video games!” I imagine myself confusing illness with natural laziness. Because of course, in fact, if I was sick enough not to work, I wouldn’t stand to rip severe eruptions VII. In fact, I would be able to faintly raise my hand up and down while complaining. Which leads us to power wash!
Is any game better designed for those of us who are out of commission? You press the left d-pad to turn on the spray, and shake the right stick to direct it. And with that, in addition to the gentle move, you can watch something dirty become clean. It’s a cure for the clinically weak, like me now.
I have written a lot about it curative nature From PowerWash Sim, where the entire gaming world is trying to justify or justify playing something objectively ridiculous. But I just want to celebrate it for being the highest levels of satisfaction for the lowest levels of effort.
I’ve been there, kneeling on the couch, barely able to rouse my so-called cosmos, but still able to clean up a damned fire station.
Read more: 15 Things I Wish I Knew Before Playing PowerWash Emulator
I have a list of game problems. Like everyone else, I was so frustrated By trying to find that little flaw on the underside of the wheel basically touching the ground, and then totally angry As a swathe of dirty ceiling suddenly announces it’s completed and makes a clean sound despite being anything but – I mean, what is that even?! Why would the game take away my satisfaction?! … I just had reactions so low that no one else would notice, probably because they were also checking me for a pulse.
My family looks at the game and thinks I’m totally crazy. On the second day in a row on the couch, when I got back to work cleaning an entire haunted mansion with a fancy toothbrush, my wife laughed out loud and said, “Do you do this all day too?” I muttered something about how it was keeping me from wanting to die, and then I went on with my important but barely delicate work.
As you may have heard, Covid-19 is a real piece of crap. It’s really scary to know I’m getting a very attenuated Easy Mode version, which is one of my top three vaccines, yet it’s kicking my ass so hard. I’m worried about that power wash Simulator Forever in my head with illness (like Animal Crossing: New Horizons It will forever remind me of those dreaded first three months of global lockdown), but I’m still ridiculously grateful for their methodical, permissive, low-pressure methods.