If you want to drink or be in the World Cup, this is not your year

Don’t even think about having a good time, creep.
picture: Getty Images

Qatar cut the way for Catholic parents before prom, enacting a sex ban at the city’s biggest ever party at the 2022 World Cup. If the deadly heat, deadlier working conditions, strict alcohol rules, and disruptive summer schedule changes, rain wasn’t enough ( Sunlight for heat stroke?) In this international soccer review, a sex ban would make this edition less fun than ever.

There’s nothing wrong with a minor bump on the field, but if it happens by mutual consent at the Marriott after the game, the attendees could face up to seven years in prison if they’re not husband and wife, A police source told the Daily Star.

This source also said, “Sex is pretty far off the list, unless you’re coming in as husband and wife. There definitely won’t be one night at this tournament.”

“There will be absolutely no celebration really. Everyone needs to keep their heads around, unless they want to risk being jailed.

“There is basically a ban on sex at this year’s World Cup for the first time ever. Fans have to be prepared.”

FIFA It is already a warning That there will be no ‘exceptions’, and this makes one wonder if those spoiled bags know that the payments they received in exchange for awarding Qatar the World Cup will come with a policy of celibacy. You’ll tell me they were told straight out that fans were supposed to celebrate progressing to the knockout round with Sprite and provocative looks. Are they just supposed to sweat each other for no reason other than the pride of the country?

It’s best for Qatar to set up some Las Vegas-style instant chapels soon because annulment is a small price to pay in order to reach the semi-finals, let alone win the cup. Showing affection in public is also a crime, and while some PDA cases should be illegal, like your sister and her new boyfriend feeding each other another watermelon, a harmless hug after a wondrous object is second nature. Good luck trying to keep his firm handshakes and packs of fives if Argentina or England weather their own droughts.

The host country’s ban on over-disclosure of clothing can help eliminate some incentives as common sense says, the less skin on display, the fewer customers. This is common sense until you consider that there is an inherent allure of a beautiful person dressed up for your team – or perhaps you imagine a rival country or another country of your choice. There is no judgment here.

Public drunkenness is also prohibited, which could lead to full Premier League stadiums being restricted. You know I survived [enter event name here]“T-shirts that people are printing for everything from Spring Break 2016 to the pandemic? These could take on a whole new meaning after spending seven years in a Qatar prison because you dumped some Coors lights and got caught hitting a willing National player in the bathroom after a USMNT 1-1 tie 1 over England in the group stage.

FIFA Saying “everyone is welcome” In the sport’s top tournament, it’s obvious that the quick to celebrate, the quickest to drink, and the quickest to fornicate make up a large portion of football fans. Qatar had to ask an abstainer how successful their fight was before they paid millions and built stadiums for a superior competition alongside the World Cup.

Think the mile-high queue on flights departing from Doha. Will someone look for the luxury of Kuwait Airways flight attendants. We are still trying to stave off COVID and they will now need buckets of bleach and hazmat suits to disinfect the plane.

Great idea, FIFA. Oh wait, I forgot, there will be no fucking.

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